Aunt Liz
By MonaLee Wilson
Hurry up and wait. That seems to be the story of my life. I skipped breakfast to make my noon appointment and I’m still sitting here waiting forty-five minutes later. I really don’t have time for this. If I had a choice I’d just walk out and forget the whole thing. When Aunt Liz died it was left to me to take care of everything. I don’t mind, truly, as I owe my life and my sanity to Aunt Liz. It’s just that today is so hectic with back-to-back appointments. Clear out the bank account, check with the funeral parlor, get the key to the house from the neighbor, arrange for the flowers and reception after the memorial service. My head is swimming with all I need to do. How am I going to go on without Aunt Liz? She was only fifty-six, way to young to die. She was to gentle to die so violently. How am I going to bear this crushing pain of loss? I love you Aunt Liz ….. So much Aunt Liz was a ray of sunshine wherever she was. Love of life and people is her legacy. Aunt Liz took me to her heart when no one else wanted anything to do with me. How she could I don’t know, as I was far from lovable. Ha …. No one even liked to be anywhere near me. I was big time trouble and proud of it. Well, not really, but that’s what I wanted everyone to think. If I was trouble enough I’d be left alone. It worked with everyone except Aunt Liz. Aunt Liz could see beneath the surface and I couldn’t con her one little bit. I was seven when I came to live With Aunt Liz who was my father’s younger sister. I was considered incorrigible even at that young age. No matter how hard they tried my parents couldn’t handle me anymore. No on could figure out why I was the way I was, least of all me. I really wanted to be good; I just could not do it. Mom and Dad were good loving parents and for sure did not deserve me. I was the oldest of three, and I terrorized my younger sister and brother. Finally, in heartbroken despair my parents had to remove me from their home. No one wanted Aunt Liz to take me and I didn’t want to go. The choice was Aunt Liz or a lifetime committement to a Mental Facility. Even at seven years old I knew I didn’t want that. Anyway, I was sure I could fake it through with anyone. The problem was, Aunt Liz wouldn’t allow it. No matter what I did or tried, and it was plenty, Aunt Liz always countered it. Somehow we both survived me and as the years sped by, I changed. Today I am a responsible man and I owe it all to Aunt Liz and her tenacity. And now she is gone. Robbed, raped and beaten to death by a crazy pervert. Why, oh why did something so terrible happen to someone so good and loving? The realization hits me in the gut that I could have been that crazy pervert if it hadn’t been for Aunt Liz. Oh God, how can I live with this. All I know is I can’t fail Aunt Liz now. But I really just want to lash out and go on a killing spree of my own. I know in my heart it would not lessen the pain or loss. And Aunt Liz would not want that behavior from me. Finally I am given the key. The hardest part comes later. I can get through this, I know I can. Don’t think, don’t think, don’t feel, just do what needs to be done. It’s a beautiful, balmy fall day for the memorial service. The Community Center is overflowing with friends here to pay tribute to a remarkable woman. Out side the building I can see the gently falling leaves. This was a season Aunt Liz loved. The last nice weather before the harsh winter set in. Aunt Liz loved winter also. She always said God gave us winter as a slow down rest time. Because of Aunt Liz I know that I can and will get through this. I’m just one of many troubled kids Aunt Liz helped. Because of me, she reached out to others, ninety-nine% successful. Thank you Aunt Liz. I love you. |
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