By Kelly Helton (Dancing-Rain-Deception)
“Athena! Athena!” I looked up from my calculus homework. My friend Gwen was standing in my doorway looking extremely perky for a Sunday night.
“Hi, Gwen,” I said. “How was the dance?”
“He kissed me,” she said. “Roy kissed me.”
I jerked, nearly knocking my calc book into my trashcan. “What? I thought—“
“So did I!” Gwen said excitedly. “I thought he would never contact me again! But I ran into him at the dance, and he proved everything that I thought wrong!”
I cocked my eyebrow. “Wait. What happened to Judah?”
Gwen squirmed. “Callie took him aside and told him I was with Roy and that he needed to leave me alone.”
“Did you talk to him yourself after that?”
“I tried!” Gwen protested. “But I couldn’t find him!” I raised my eyebrows again. Gwen’s blush deepened.
“I really did try, Athena!” she said. “I did! I feel bad, but it’s not my fault!” I shook my head and smiled. Poor Gwen. Caught in the middle, and only a freshman in high school.
“Okay, okay,” I said. “Start at the beginning. How did Roy find you?”
Gwen plopped onto my bed. “Well, I was sitting on a couch waiting for Judah, and I saw Roy just before he saw me….”
* * *
Gwen’s smile still stretched a mile wide when she finished her story. Roy had kissed her not once, but three times. She was beyond ecstatic, having thought Roy had fallen out of touch long ago. Her facial expressions, though ridiculous, cracked me up. But something in her recollections tickled my funny bone and not in a “ha-ha-ha” kind of way.
I sighed. “That’s really awesome Gwen, but—“
RIIING! The ten-minutes-till-lights-out bell made Gwen and me jump.
“Oh, crap,” Gwen said. “Athena, I’ll talk to you more tomorrow, okay?”
I nodded. “Sounds good to me. See you, Gwen.”
She turned and left. I had a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Gwen had fallen head over heels for Roy in September, and the dance was the first time she had seen or talked to him since. I remembered the night in January when Gwen had cried and given up on Roy because he had called her. Then she got a call from Judah, who had gotten her number from her friend. He had called her every night. He even called her twice the day his ride to our prom had ditched him, just to make sure she was okay. At this point, I couldn’t help but think of Shakespeare’s Macbeth, which I had just finished in Literature.
Something wicked this way comes, indeed. I thought. I just hoped that Gwen’s head could keep her heart from running hither, thither, and yon.
* * *
I woke up the next morning with something pricking me in the back of my head. It turned out to be a chopstick I had accidentally left twisted in my hair last night. I saw Gwen briefly at lunch. Her eyes still glittered like a red carpet dress at a Hollywood premiere. Word of what happened with Roy had spread through the school like wildfire, which wasn’t a shock considering a student body of one-hundred-and-eighty.
That afternoon, Calculus hogged enough of my attention so that I couldn’t think about Gwen and Roy. It didn’t matter too much. Just after dinner, Gwen walked into my room. She looked dazed, like she’d been staring at a bright light for too long, yet a grin was tugging so hard on her mouth that I thought her face would break.
“Gwen?” I said. She didn’t respond. “Gwen?” I waved my hand in front of her face.
“He said, ‘I love you,’,” she said. My jaw dropped a little.
“What? Who did?”
“Roy. In an email. The closing line was, in all caps, ‘I LOVE YOU!!!,’ complete with three exclamation points.” I bit my lip. Red flags flew all over this story, but I didn’t have the heart to tell her.
“Well, then,” I said. “What did you say back?”
“’I heart you, too.’ Saying ‘love’ felt a too awkward.”
I should think so. I thought. “Love” is not a guy dancing so close that you can’t look him in the eye (which is exactly what Gwen said Roy had done). But if Gwen didn’t mind too much, then neither did I.
“Anyway, I’ve got to go,” Gwen said. “Study hall starts soon.” She turned and started toward the door.
“Gwen?” I called.
“Yeah?” My warning crouched readily on my tongue, but I swallowed it.
“Nothing. I forgot what I was going to say. Have a good study hall.” I watched her leave, trying to decide whether I should be happy, concerned, or just plain weirded out.
* * *
I didn’t talk to Gwen much in the next few days. She was on top of Cloud Nine for the next week. Whenever I asked her if she had heard from Roy, she said no. But she didn’t mind because he was a junior and therefore was worried about college apps and SATs and stuff like that. I didn’t say anything because she was probably right. I remembered what all of that had been like last year. I shuddered at the memories.
The next week, Gwen had fallen from Cloud Nine to Cloud Seven (if such a cloud existed). She still hadn’t heard from Roy, but she said he was an athlete on top of being a junior, so he was trying to be in good shape for the last few games of the season. I was too worried about my choir concert next Friday to disagree with her.
The night of the concert, I saw Gwen sitting in the audience with some of her friends. She was laughing at something another girl had said. I smiled and felt better knowing that Gwen wasn’t dwelling on Roy’s lack of communication.
The concert went off without a hitch, and I managed to hit the highest note in my solo without my voice cracking. After the concert, a lot of people came up and congratulated the choir on a good concert. Gwen walked up to me smiling.
“You have a really pretty voice, Athena,” she said. A smiled tugged at the corners of her mouth. “If we’re still friends ten years from now, will you sing at my wedding?”
I laughed. “Of course! It’ll be your wedding to Roy, right?”
Gwen’s expression clouded. “Yeah. Sure.” She sighed. “I’ve got some more homework to do. I just wanted to say congratulations.” Her expression didn’t change as she turned and walked out of the auditorium. I felt bad, though I wasn’t exactly sure what I had done. I couldn’t shake the feeling that something had gone horribly wrong.
* * *
I was back in my room an hour later, reveling in the happiness that the last concert was over. My friend Hope suggested I splash my face with cold water to calm down. I didn’t like the idea of cold water, but I did like the idea of a warm shower. As I walked to the bathroom, I noticed Gwen heading downstairs. Her eyes were red, the skin underneath them puffy and pink. My heart sank as I walked into the bathroom.
I showered quickly, hoping to get to Gwen for a moment before lights out. I went down to her room and poked my head in the door. She was alone and sitting on her bed, staring out the window as rain peppered the earth.
“Gwen?”
She turned her head and stared at me. “Yeah?”
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing? Really?” I walked to her bed and tugged on her hand. “Come on. You need cheering up.”
She sat up. “Athena, we have to be back in our rooms soon.”
“Not for another ten minutes,” I said, tugging on her hand. She stood reluctantly and followed me down the hall. When we got to my room, Gwen sat down on the floor next to my bed. I sat down next to her.
“Need a hug?” Gwen nodded, her expression flat. I sat next to her and put my arm around her. She rested her head on my shoulders.
“What’s wrong?” I asked. “Does it have something to do with Roy?” She nodded mutely, clearly trying not to cry. It didn’t matter. The sky was doing that for her.
Hope’s head popped through my door. “Oh, sorry.” Her eyebrows knit together. “Gwen? You okay?” Gwen shook her head. Hope sat on the floor in front of her.
“Roy lied to me,” Gwen whispered, tears choking her voice. “He said he loved me and that he wanted to be friends again.” She sniffed hard. “That was three weeks ago. He hasn’t contacted me since.”
I squeezed Gwen’s shoulders harder. “I’m sorry.”
Snow-silent tears began slipping down Gwen’s cheeks. “I kept hoping he’d email me back. Or write me a letter, or something to let me know he meant what he said. But I was wrong.” She wrapped her arms around her knees and hugged them. “I give up. I don’t care anymore.” She set her chin on her knees and let the tears come. Hope unwrapped Gwen’s hands from her knees; she was crying, too.
I felt my cheeks flush. “Hope?”
BOOM! A loud crack of thunder made all of us jump. Gwen nearly hit Hope in the face.
“It just makes me sad to see you like this, Gwen,” Hope said. I nodded and Hope went on. “You always seem so happy, but you’re not really.”
“Well, what am I supposed to do about that?” Gwen said, bitterness creeping into her tone. “I hardly trust anyone enough to talk to them.”
“You have a safe place with me,” Hope said. “Come find me if you ever need to talk.”
“Or me,” I said. “Find one of us or leave a note.”
RIIING! RIIING! RIIING! I nearly cursed the bell aloud. Gwen clearly wanted to stay, but that stupid bell signaled everyone that they needed to be back in their rooms.
Gwen stood quickly. “I’ve got to go. I’ll see you guys later.”
“No,” I said. “Gwen, wait—“ She turned to leave and almost ran face-first into an RA.
“I’m sorry,” Gwen said quickly. “I’m going to my room now.” She walked down the hall and out of sight.
“Don’t count it against her,” I said. “She’s having a really awful night, and we were trying to cheer her up.” The RA nodded; she hadn’t missed Gwen’s teary eyes and red cheeks. She jerked her head at the door, indicating that Hope needed to get back to her room. Hope rose silently and walked out.
“Don’t worry about Gwen,” the RA said. “She won’t get in trouble. Have a good night, Athena. Sleep well.” She shut the door.
I got into my pajamas, climbed into bed, and stared at the ceiling. I hoped Gwen would be able to take some comfort that it was rainy instead of clear, like the sky was crying with her. I was, on the inside. Everyone deserves a chance at a “freshman fling.” It makes things interesting. But no one deserves a broken heart. No one.
“Athena! Athena!” I looked up from my calculus homework. My friend Gwen was standing in my doorway looking extremely perky for a Sunday night.
“Hi, Gwen,” I said. “How was the dance?”
“He kissed me,” she said. “Roy kissed me.”
I jerked, nearly knocking my calc book into my trashcan. “What? I thought—“
“So did I!” Gwen said excitedly. “I thought he would never contact me again! But I ran into him at the dance, and he proved everything that I thought wrong!”
I cocked my eyebrow. “Wait. What happened to Judah?”
Gwen squirmed. “Callie took him aside and told him I was with Roy and that he needed to leave me alone.”
“Did you talk to him yourself after that?”
“I tried!” Gwen protested. “But I couldn’t find him!” I raised my eyebrows again. Gwen’s blush deepened.
“I really did try, Athena!” she said. “I did! I feel bad, but it’s not my fault!” I shook my head and smiled. Poor Gwen. Caught in the middle, and only a freshman in high school.
“Okay, okay,” I said. “Start at the beginning. How did Roy find you?”
Gwen plopped onto my bed. “Well, I was sitting on a couch waiting for Judah, and I saw Roy just before he saw me….”
* * *
Gwen’s smile still stretched a mile wide when she finished her story. Roy had kissed her not once, but three times. She was beyond ecstatic, having thought Roy had fallen out of touch long ago. Her facial expressions, though ridiculous, cracked me up. But something in her recollections tickled my funny bone and not in a “ha-ha-ha” kind of way.
I sighed. “That’s really awesome Gwen, but—“
RIIING! The ten-minutes-till-lights-out bell made Gwen and me jump.
“Oh, crap,” Gwen said. “Athena, I’ll talk to you more tomorrow, okay?”
I nodded. “Sounds good to me. See you, Gwen.”
She turned and left. I had a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Gwen had fallen head over heels for Roy in September, and the dance was the first time she had seen or talked to him since. I remembered the night in January when Gwen had cried and given up on Roy because he had called her. Then she got a call from Judah, who had gotten her number from her friend. He had called her every night. He even called her twice the day his ride to our prom had ditched him, just to make sure she was okay. At this point, I couldn’t help but think of Shakespeare’s Macbeth, which I had just finished in Literature.
Something wicked this way comes, indeed. I thought. I just hoped that Gwen’s head could keep her heart from running hither, thither, and yon.
* * *
I woke up the next morning with something pricking me in the back of my head. It turned out to be a chopstick I had accidentally left twisted in my hair last night. I saw Gwen briefly at lunch. Her eyes still glittered like a red carpet dress at a Hollywood premiere. Word of what happened with Roy had spread through the school like wildfire, which wasn’t a shock considering a student body of one-hundred-and-eighty.
That afternoon, Calculus hogged enough of my attention so that I couldn’t think about Gwen and Roy. It didn’t matter too much. Just after dinner, Gwen walked into my room. She looked dazed, like she’d been staring at a bright light for too long, yet a grin was tugging so hard on her mouth that I thought her face would break.
“Gwen?” I said. She didn’t respond. “Gwen?” I waved my hand in front of her face.
“He said, ‘I love you,’,” she said. My jaw dropped a little.
“What? Who did?”
“Roy. In an email. The closing line was, in all caps, ‘I LOVE YOU!!!,’ complete with three exclamation points.” I bit my lip. Red flags flew all over this story, but I didn’t have the heart to tell her.
“Well, then,” I said. “What did you say back?”
“’I heart you, too.’ Saying ‘love’ felt a too awkward.”
I should think so. I thought. “Love” is not a guy dancing so close that you can’t look him in the eye (which is exactly what Gwen said Roy had done). But if Gwen didn’t mind too much, then neither did I.
“Anyway, I’ve got to go,” Gwen said. “Study hall starts soon.” She turned and started toward the door.
“Gwen?” I called.
“Yeah?” My warning crouched readily on my tongue, but I swallowed it.
“Nothing. I forgot what I was going to say. Have a good study hall.” I watched her leave, trying to decide whether I should be happy, concerned, or just plain weirded out.
* * *
I didn’t talk to Gwen much in the next few days. She was on top of Cloud Nine for the next week. Whenever I asked her if she had heard from Roy, she said no. But she didn’t mind because he was a junior and therefore was worried about college apps and SATs and stuff like that. I didn’t say anything because she was probably right. I remembered what all of that had been like last year. I shuddered at the memories.
The next week, Gwen had fallen from Cloud Nine to Cloud Seven (if such a cloud existed). She still hadn’t heard from Roy, but she said he was an athlete on top of being a junior, so he was trying to be in good shape for the last few games of the season. I was too worried about my choir concert next Friday to disagree with her.
The night of the concert, I saw Gwen sitting in the audience with some of her friends. She was laughing at something another girl had said. I smiled and felt better knowing that Gwen wasn’t dwelling on Roy’s lack of communication.
The concert went off without a hitch, and I managed to hit the highest note in my solo without my voice cracking. After the concert, a lot of people came up and congratulated the choir on a good concert. Gwen walked up to me smiling.
“You have a really pretty voice, Athena,” she said. A smiled tugged at the corners of her mouth. “If we’re still friends ten years from now, will you sing at my wedding?”
I laughed. “Of course! It’ll be your wedding to Roy, right?”
Gwen’s expression clouded. “Yeah. Sure.” She sighed. “I’ve got some more homework to do. I just wanted to say congratulations.” Her expression didn’t change as she turned and walked out of the auditorium. I felt bad, though I wasn’t exactly sure what I had done. I couldn’t shake the feeling that something had gone horribly wrong.
* * *
I was back in my room an hour later, reveling in the happiness that the last concert was over. My friend Hope suggested I splash my face with cold water to calm down. I didn’t like the idea of cold water, but I did like the idea of a warm shower. As I walked to the bathroom, I noticed Gwen heading downstairs. Her eyes were red, the skin underneath them puffy and pink. My heart sank as I walked into the bathroom.
I showered quickly, hoping to get to Gwen for a moment before lights out. I went down to her room and poked my head in the door. She was alone and sitting on her bed, staring out the window as rain peppered the earth.
“Gwen?”
She turned her head and stared at me. “Yeah?”
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing? Really?” I walked to her bed and tugged on her hand. “Come on. You need cheering up.”
She sat up. “Athena, we have to be back in our rooms soon.”
“Not for another ten minutes,” I said, tugging on her hand. She stood reluctantly and followed me down the hall. When we got to my room, Gwen sat down on the floor next to my bed. I sat down next to her.
“Need a hug?” Gwen nodded, her expression flat. I sat next to her and put my arm around her. She rested her head on my shoulders.
“What’s wrong?” I asked. “Does it have something to do with Roy?” She nodded mutely, clearly trying not to cry. It didn’t matter. The sky was doing that for her.
Hope’s head popped through my door. “Oh, sorry.” Her eyebrows knit together. “Gwen? You okay?” Gwen shook her head. Hope sat on the floor in front of her.
“Roy lied to me,” Gwen whispered, tears choking her voice. “He said he loved me and that he wanted to be friends again.” She sniffed hard. “That was three weeks ago. He hasn’t contacted me since.”
I squeezed Gwen’s shoulders harder. “I’m sorry.”
Snow-silent tears began slipping down Gwen’s cheeks. “I kept hoping he’d email me back. Or write me a letter, or something to let me know he meant what he said. But I was wrong.” She wrapped her arms around her knees and hugged them. “I give up. I don’t care anymore.” She set her chin on her knees and let the tears come. Hope unwrapped Gwen’s hands from her knees; she was crying, too.
I felt my cheeks flush. “Hope?”
BOOM! A loud crack of thunder made all of us jump. Gwen nearly hit Hope in the face.
“It just makes me sad to see you like this, Gwen,” Hope said. I nodded and Hope went on. “You always seem so happy, but you’re not really.”
“Well, what am I supposed to do about that?” Gwen said, bitterness creeping into her tone. “I hardly trust anyone enough to talk to them.”
“You have a safe place with me,” Hope said. “Come find me if you ever need to talk.”
“Or me,” I said. “Find one of us or leave a note.”
RIIING! RIIING! RIIING! I nearly cursed the bell aloud. Gwen clearly wanted to stay, but that stupid bell signaled everyone that they needed to be back in their rooms.
Gwen stood quickly. “I’ve got to go. I’ll see you guys later.”
“No,” I said. “Gwen, wait—“ She turned to leave and almost ran face-first into an RA.
“I’m sorry,” Gwen said quickly. “I’m going to my room now.” She walked down the hall and out of sight.
“Don’t count it against her,” I said. “She’s having a really awful night, and we were trying to cheer her up.” The RA nodded; she hadn’t missed Gwen’s teary eyes and red cheeks. She jerked her head at the door, indicating that Hope needed to get back to her room. Hope rose silently and walked out.
“Don’t worry about Gwen,” the RA said. “She won’t get in trouble. Have a good night, Athena. Sleep well.” She shut the door.
I got into my pajamas, climbed into bed, and stared at the ceiling. I hoped Gwen would be able to take some comfort that it was rainy instead of clear, like the sky was crying with her. I was, on the inside. Everyone deserves a chance at a “freshman fling.” It makes things interesting. But no one deserves a broken heart. No one.