Alice blew into the door of the photography studio and reluctantly walked to the front desk. “I’m here for an appointment” she said barely audible. An attempt to straighten the mess on her head was futile after noticing how beautiful the assistant was sitting behind the desk watching her in amusement.
"Please have a seat. It will be a few minutes honey." The assistant continued reading her book from behind the partition but not without giving Alice another look.
Alice sat down next to the window and stared blankly to the outside world. "One shot, one shot is all I need. I can look as good as her," Alice thought. "The woman who stole my husband, who shattered my life into little pieces – I can be as good as her." Her thoughts were interrupted by the music blaring from behind the walls as a man’s voice in the background yelled, “that’s it baby. Now - one more. Oh, yeah. That’s lovely.”
Alice sat nervously in the waiting room anticipating the salvation of her 20 year marriage. Her friends had told her for weeks to do something that would make her feel better. This was her bold attempt to feel sexy and desirable again. "I could be everything he wants - his fantasy."
At 42, she did not feel sexy. She had let herself go amidst the daily grind of life, stopped wearing make-up years ago, stopped taking time each day to do something with her dishwater blonde hair, stopped caring about much of anything because the grind took up all of her time. Work and kids ate up every minute of every day, leaving little of it left to spend on her or Ken. Alice was not unattractive, just unattended to, and her husband felt the same. But he took matters into his own hands and now. Alice struggled to make sense of a world without him. "I will show him if it’s the last thing I do. He’ll want me. It would be the best revenge," Alice thought.
“Alice?”
“Yes,” she replied hesitantly. Her stomach in such tight knots she thought she would puke. She spent the day pampering herself in anticipation. A couple of hours getting a massage, then to the nail salon, followed by several hours in the chair at the hairdresser, who also helped her with her make-up for all the good that did. For the first time in years Alice sensed her confidence coming back, but at this moment doubt revisited and she wanted to forget this whole hair-brained scheme to win back her husband. Perhaps it was over and he really didn’t want her anymore.
Gretchen, the beautiful assistant in the pink dress called to her, “he’s ready for you honey.”
Alice followed the woman in stiletto heels and tight dress through the dark hallways. More photos of beautiful women. Alice wondered if the photographer, Stilt, slept with his subjects. Their smoldering looks gave it all away. They were practically making love to the camera.
“Ahhh, my lovely Alice,” Stilt said. Holding his arms open widely he embraced her as if they were old friends. Stilt was not what Alice had expected. He was 6 foot 3 inches of skinny, tousled hair – what little there was, and a 5 o’clock shadow - not very attractive. However, his British accent made up for everything. It had to be the reason all the women in the photos looked as if they were in love.
“Hello,” she said accepting his welcome. A camera still in his hands, he adjusted the equipment and studied her with a bewildered look. “Gretchen, appointments for the rest of the day?” he asked.
“This is the last one,” she replied.
Still watching Alice he said, “Fantastic. Then you are excused for the rest of the day.” Gretchen frowning in disappointment turned and left the room.
Still looking Alice over from head to toe, and everywhere in between he said, “my lovely Alice, this will be fun. I will have you change over there into whatever you like and come back to the platform when you are ready.” Stilt pointed to the small dressing room in the corner with a limited amount of clothing hanging on the rack just outside of it.
The room was large and open. Much like the rest of the space it was painted black except for a rather large white screen and platform in the corner. Numerous cameras were set-up on tripods in front of the platform, and lighting throughout the room – some hanging, some standing on light stands. A large fan was tucked away against the wall, and a small dressing area in the opposite corner.
Alice’s stomach was completing cartwheels causing her to wonder if this was a good idea. Looking through the costumes of scantily made strings on a hanger she knew she could never fill out, she thought of just leaving altogether. "No, this is what he likes. He likes sexy. I have to be sexy. It will only take one shot and he will see - I am sexy too." After choosing an outfit she went behind the screen to change.
Walking back to the platform, Stilt was busy making adjustments to lighting and camera angles. He hardly noticed Alice. Visibly nervous she stepped onto the platform. In an effort to calm her nerves he said, “Alice love, it’s quite normal to be uneasy the first time. You are going to be fine.”
The room was cold. Standing on the platform, Alice felt completely exposed, as if the spotlight was revealing every secret within her. Any moment, all of her insecurities would come falling out onto the platform like carnage after a terrible battle. I hate you Ken. I hate you for doing this to me.
The shutter on the camera began clicking away. “Okay Alice. You look a bit stiff. Close your eyes and relax. Roll your head around a few times to release some of the tension. Forget everything outside of these walls, visualize yourself as being whatever it is you wanted to be when you stepped in that front door,” Stilt said gently coaxing her to move.
"I want to be sexy. I want to be loved. I want to be . . . her. One shot is all I need. One good shot." Getting in time with the rhythm of the music, she started to slip away. Her body moving smoothly in ways she had never felt before. The camera continues to click, but soon she does not hear a thing, not even the music. A flood of emotions come and go as if viewing her life in warp speed. Early days of happiness, her marriage to Ken, the birth of her children; then despair from an unfulfilling career and loneliness; and finally, the affair. Her. "Let it go Alice. Let it go Alice."
“Let it go Alice,” she hears in the distance. “You are doing great, keep moving honey.”
Tears slowly form in the corners of her eyes. She can’t let them fall, not one more tear for him. It takes every ounce of strength to keep that tear from falling. If it falls He wins.
Alice opens her eyes. The camera is staring at her searching for truth and honesty. The tears subside. She has won. She looks into the lens with a new determination and will. I have won. Her body continues to move in time with the music and she lets herself feel it, feel everything she never felt before. Beautiful, sexy . . . worthy of being looked at – of being loved.
Alice stepped out of the dressing room feeling rejuvenated.
“Darling, you did amazing in there. What happened?” Stilt asked. “It was like your face and body expression changed in one moment. Quite bizarre. Well, I think you got the ‘one shot’ you were hoping for.”
"Did I mention that to you?” Alice asked. “I don’t remember saying anything during the shoot.”
“Oh, you were very vocal. You kept saying ‘I just need one good shot,’” he laughed. “I think you got it!” he said smiling.
“Thank you Stilt. I will tell all my friends to come and see you if they ever need to feel beautiful,” she said embarrassed by the revelation.
Arriving home, she hurriedly sat the groceries on the table. The bag tipped and the tomatoes spilled onto the floor. She couldn't wait to pick them up, she had to look at the photos that arrived in the mail today. Tearing open the envelope, but careful not to bend the contents she slowly removed the pictures. “Wow, is that really me? I guess Stilt was right. I have never looked like that,” she smiled to herself. I look even better than her. He won’t regret leaving her to come back to me.
A glass falls in the back of the house startling her. Slowly, she makes her way to the back of the house only stopping briefly at the desk. She hears a faint laughing coming from the back bedroom? The kids? No, they are at school. No, this cannot be happening, again. He said he was through with her.
Alice throws open the door widely. “ALICE!” Ken exclaims. “What are you doing? No!” Pop.
"I only needed one good shot."