They said you were not coming today. They told me that I would be alone, again. They like to tease me like that, to hurt my feelings. They are cruel, they are the bringers of pain. They do what they want, not what they should. They are the nurses you hired to take care of me. Do you not love me? Have I stopped being your golden girl? Why are you just sitting there, with that stupid smile on your face? Do you not respect me enough to answer me? Is this what sixty years together boils down to? Allen, answer me, please!
The sounds of this place are insanity on high octane. I don't know what possessed me to become a nurse. These late night shifts at the hospice facility were starting to weigh heavy on my soul. I don't get along with my coworkers, because I do care about the patients. I tried reporting the abuse. What an absolute waste of time that was. All I could do was my best to make up for the cruelty of the others by being kinder and gentler.
Mrs. Billings is crying again, I can hear her from the worn desk I am sitting at, and wonder if I should go to her. She is yelling his name again, hollering for her husband to talk to her. He hasn't been to visit in two weeks, and yet she acts as if he is sitting there by her side. This bizarre behavior started three nights ago, when I found her trying to get out of bed. I rushed to her room, to calm her once again.
"Come Amelia, quiet yourself." I spoke to her as I entered the room. "You'll wake the cows in the fields with all of your yelling." I looked at her closely, cataloging the basic vitals as I went. Then I truly looked at her. Tears streaked her face, flooding through the wrinkles of time. She looked lost, like a child without her teddy bear. She stared at the empty chair that was at the base of her bed. The look in her eyes was one of resolved sadness. I reached out to stroke her hand. She smiled at me.
"He's gone. I know that now." She said with a shrug of her bone thin shoulders.
"Who Amelia?" I asked softly.
"Allen. He came to say goodbye. I know that now." She whispered as she returned her eyes to the chair and smiled so sweetly. She seemed so young at that moment.
"Do you need anything, before I let you get back to sleep?"
"No, dear. I am better now." She sighed.
The night passed fairly quiet after that. A few patients needed a glass of water, a snack, or attending to. I heard the fax machine in the main office go off. Normally I never bothered checking the faxes immediately, they generally could wait. Something told me that I needed to check this one. I read the fax and my heart fell into the pit of my stomach. I didn't think I could bear to be the one to deliver such news. I walked slowly to Suite D, trepidation weighing my feet down. As I turned into the room, I thought my heart would stop on me.
Mrs. Amelia had passed quietly, that same sweet smile I last saw on her face. None of the machines had alerted me. I looked again at the paper in my hands and realized she had known, and that Allen had come to her. I placed the crumpled fax from the Billing's family attorney on the bedside table. Gently I placed the sheet over Amelia's head. In life they had
lived, laughed and loved. In death, they would dance with the
angels.