It always seems so final. . . . . the whole funeral/death of a loved one experience. I never know how to behave or what to do different? So I usually just keep a low profile til it’s all over. After all it’s not about me. . . not directly anyhow.
There are more than one gathered here who has their suspicions about me, and others like me. But there isn’t enough conclusive proof for anyone to say beyond the shadow of a doubt that I am a murderer. But they have their suspicions and they don’t want to admit the truth. They are weak and they are scared. Some would be relieved if they could admit it to themselves, prove it once and for all. They might be happy, elated even.
But like so many things in life it is much easier for them to believe what they are comfortable with. Their own reality and the grim sum of it, truth plays little part in that. Old Shakespeare hit the nail on the head when he said that all the world is a stage. . . . .and we play to ourselves as much as anyone else.
When the moment arrives to lower the coffin there is always the long, silent stare. . . . . once more faced with the undeniable truth that this life is at best short. And the thoughts running through their minds. Asking themselves over and over again how someone could be literally murdered in cold blood in their own home, with the proof of the crime so obvious and yet nothing has been done??
And even worse that the killer has taken members of this same family and other families who are attending this very service, and the body count continues to rise. Seemingly nothing can be done, it is an inescapable reality that the human condition is what it is. What drives us are our wants and desires, not what we know to be right but what we WANT to be right. Human nature. . . . free will?? Or the powers of good and evil?? Right and wrong?? Darkness and light??? Who knows. . . . .
Something to consider and the young doctor does, throughout the funeral service and right up til he’s walking towards his car and he reaches in his shirt pocket to pull out another cigarette.